Day 63 - Hopeless!

Baggy took Grotty Groom over to see her Boys again today. Wesley had his three-monthly physiotherapy check-up. Yes, he needs it. He's as big a crock as his Mum sadly. Since his last check up of course, Baggy has had two lots of surgery. Therefore he's basically been on holiday. He was being ridden four or five times a week. He hasn't been ridden once in three months. He's also been eating rather a lot of very nice hay. Plus of course, the grass is still growing because of this nutty weather we've been having. So to say that his waistline has expanded would be a bit of an understatement! Joey's too. But that's not such a dramatic problem as with Wesley. Wesley has kissing spine. So his back has to be watched very carefully. The reason that he had Grotty off him three times in the space of six months, was because his saddle wasn't fitting properly and it hurt his back. Well the lad's put so much weight on that his saddle definitely won't fit at the moment. He's also lost his muscle through lack of exercise, so sadly he was in a bit of a mess.

After some treatment on his withers, he felt much better and was much more flexible. So that was good. Now, he too is on a bit of a diet. Grotty is not permitted to let Baggy start riding Wesley again for at least another month. Her stomach won't be strong enough until then. Realistically, it will be at least two more months as Baggy's arm won't be up to it. So Baggy and Wesley have two months to lose some weight.

Wesley currently looks like a shaggy Gypsy cob. Fat, sweet and innocent. How deceptive looks can be. Grotty has never seen him looking so woolly before. She gave him a jolly good groom after his treatment, but Baggy's arm was struggling. Interestingly though, now she's home, it's Baggy's stomach that's really hurting. Ah well. But Heaven help us, she's hopeless. Three times, Baggy returned to the stable block, with the intention of getting Grotty to check the Boys' saddles. They are in our little metal tack lockers, but they haven't been touched for months. Chances are therefore that they are going to be going mouldy. Baggy can't decide whether to blame Clever Bird or Hormonal Hannah but whoever is at fault, Grotty did not remember to check the saddles. Grrrrrr! Hopeless!

At least Clever Bird managed to spot that Baggy was driving her car on fumes. One disadvantage of living in the sticks, is that you have to remember to plan ahead to fill up with petrol. One doesn't just drive past a petrol station. The nearest is about six miles away. So Baggy came home via the petrol station. It just happens to be next to a very large pet shop. Furry Mama can never resist going in. So today Hinge and Bracket acquired another catnip rat (so they have one each) and a new scratch post. Not that they're spoilt at all. Furry Mama needs the Hinge cat to use it, but of course so far it's Bracket kat who is burning off the extra calories playing with it. Hopeless.......

Day 62 - Lazy.

Today Baggy has decided to take "The day of rest" literally. Freda Fretter has realised that Baggy did more harm to herself than she had realised the other day when she fell over in the car park. Walking Minty Mutt the last couple of days has been rather painful on Baggy's stomach and back. Clever Bird doesn't think it's anything serious, but she does seem to have jarred Baggy's neck. So this morning she had a major sleep in. Now Furry Mama has done a deal with Minty, that we have a slobby-about day. He gets an extra "starfish" chew and we go on an extra long walk tomorrow. So today, we lie about in front of the fire.

Hormonal Hannah is finding things pretty tough at the moment. Baggy is under quite a lot of mental stress as well as still recovering from her operations. So, having a day of doing nothing much seems like a jolly good idea. Clever Bird reckons that Baggy should make the most of it. It won't be too many more weeks before Grotty Groom is back in action, then there won't be any days lying about doing not a lot..............

Day 61 - Men!

Furry Mama walked the dog with Calum and our friend Dan. It poured with rain last night. The wetlands are a muddy quagmire. Why oh why would anyone encourage Minty Mutt to get even muddier than he already was  by letting him go into the stream again? Right Clever Bird of course they wouldn't. So Furry Mama told Minty "No", as he headed down into the very muddy stream. Mint obeyed and headed back across the little footbridge. Furry Mama's number one furry, Calum, then headed down into the stream. "No", said Furry Mama. Nothing. Totally ignored! No response.

 

Seriously?!? Men!!!!! It's not as clean as it looks. Minty Mutt, "Hang on Mum, Dad's in there. I'm going in". "Noooooooooooooo". "But I must".

 

 

 

"Oh for goodness sake Minty". "But Mum, it's lovely". "Really! Is it?" "Yes, Mum, it is. I need to lie down". "Noooooooooooooooooooo!". "Oh yes".

 

 

 

 

"Oh for goodness sake Minty, you are filthy". Lots of amused chuckling from Calum. Meltdown from The Domestic Goddess. "Right, well you can shower him down and dry him off when we get home". Chuckle, chuckle.

 

 

 

 

Men!!!!!!!!! Clever Bird knew very well that Furry Mama would be the one sorting out the chaos when we got home. But Minty was happy, Calum was amused and Dan was bemused, so what can a Furry Mama do, except smile in despair and let Creative Clara take photos?

 

 

 

Once home, Furry Mama dried Minty off. The Goddess suggested lunch out (as a treat). It saved her having to do it. No confidence, making food for friends! Then Grotty Groom insisted that she needed to see her Boys. The hunt had been at the yard today and she wanted to check that they were both okay.

 

 

They were. They had clearly been stressed as they were both sweated-up. But they were fine. Grotty decided to groom The Boy Wessles over the door. Then against her better judgment (and Calum's advice) she decided to go in the stable with him. That lasted about fifteen seconds. She realised just how "wired" he was and came out again to stop Baggy from getting hurt. More grooming over the door commenced.

 

 

But oh boy was she happy to spend some time with her horse. Lovely day..........











Day 60 - Baggy needs to get her act together!

Baggy woke up this morning, relieved that her dramatic fall in the car park yesterday didn't seem to have done too much damage. So as she was okay and can drive again, she went off to Fat Club (her lovely Slimming World group). It's the first time that she has been able to go since the middle of November! Freda Fretter was worried. Clever Bird knew that it wouldn't be pretty. Baggy was very optimistic that she had only put on two or three pounds. Seriously Baggy? Grotty Groom is not doing her duties. No mucking out. No lugging hay nets and buckets of water. No walking the Boys in and out (forty minutes a day). No pushing wheelbarrows full of muck a few hundred yards to the muck heap. No riding. No changing rugs. No grooming. Creative Clara hasn't been allowed to go to Tribal dance classes. Even Furry Mama had weeks of not being able to walk Minty Mutt. And as for The Domestic Goddess - well actually, no change there then, pretty much as useless as always. So, really not much exercise.

Then of course we can add two weeks of living with Baggy's sister. Wine every night. Lovely home-made cakes. Nibbles. Well, you get the picture.  Then Christmas. Hmmmm! Bearing in mind that in the Baggy household, there were still mince pies, chocolates and various other goodies, like brandy butter to be consumed, as recently as yesterday. Correction. Today. Plus, Clever Bird had convinced Baggy that all the extra calories were being used up healing Baggy after her two operations. Well maybe they were for a while. But Baggy is now pretty healed. So. The scales.

Yes, well the less said about that the better. Okay, if you insist. For the sake of honest transparency, Baggy had put seven-and-a-half pounds back on. Ooooooops! When Clever Bird got home, the certificate on the fridge that Baggy was so proud of had to come down. After all she has no longer lost two-and-a-half stone. In fact realistically she has put much more than seven pounds on. Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst weighed at least five pounds. No idea what all Baggy's hysterectomy bits weighed too. So, Clever Bird is now forgetting all of that. New Year. New start. Baggy is eating healthily once again.

When Baggy got home, Furry Mama was keen to get her out. Mint fancied the dormouse sanctuary walk. That was a good forty-five minutes of exercise. Yep Baggy's back on track.......

Day 59 - Baggy is a total disaster!

Baggy started her day with a lie in. She thought until 9.00am. Only for Clever Bird to look at the clock properly and realise that it was 11.00am. It was so dark though! Furry Mama persuaded Baggy to take Minty out. She did the "wetlands" walk again. Having omitted to factor in the torrential rain that occurred for most of last night. Even the road was a river. Within ten minutes Baggy's feet were soaked through her split boots.

 

The fact that it was cold and absolutely soaking today did not stop Minty Mutt from needing a drink en-route. Ignoring all the convenient puddles, he shot down into the little stream. Freda Fretter had a bit of a worry, thinking that he might not be able to get back out. There was no way that Baggy was getting in to get him. Prior to Baggy's sister re-launching Minty's inner puppy, there is no way he would have made it out. But today.

 



 

When we reached the stile however, it was a different story. We tackled it from the opposite side today. It's higher. Mint got stuck. Baggy had to lift him over. Ouch! Clever Bird reckons he used up all his energy getting out of the stream.

 

Once home, Baggy needed to go into town again. As she's driving, this wasn't an issue. Just as she arrived at the car park, the Heavens opened. It absolutely poured down. Proper torrential rain. Bouncing back up off the car park. So Clever Bird got Baggy to sit in the car until it reduced itself to a gentle drizzle. She set off to the shops. As she walked across the car park, her right boot suddenly slipped forward from under her. In seeming slow motion, just like one of those "comedy" banana-skin skids, Baggy suddenly found her feet above her head, and she landed (hard) on her bottom. Fortunately the car driver who was coming round the corner was paying attention and stopped before running Baggy over. The very lovely driver got out to check on Baggy and offer her a lift home. Baggy said she was okay. Just shocked. She made it as far as a bench, before Hormonal Hannah caught up with her. Meltdown. Just as well it was raining to hide the tears.

 

Baggy then needed to go to another town. Once she got there she decided that it was high time that the split boots were replaced. Clever Bird treated Grotty and Furry Mama to some very nice waterproof boots, that are nice enough to also wear around town. She did (she left them on). Another fall was not needed. By now Baggy's stomach and arm were extremely painful. Cue nice stuffed croissant for lunch with two cappuccinos and a huge bit of Victoria sponge. Ah well. The Slimming World weigh in is not until tomorrow. Grotty went for a cuddle with her Boys on the way home. Joey totally ignored her, until she produced a treat. Wesley would not stop head-butting her over the stable door. He clearly is missing her a lot. Well she misses him too.

 

 

 

So Baggy is now on the wine to numb the pain of Grotty missing her horse and the physical pains of her fall. The bath is running with soothing bubbles in it. Baggy should clearly not be allowed out........  

 

 

Day 58 - Lost track of time.

Clever Bird has lost all track of time. She doesn't even know what year it is, let alone what day. The truth is that Baggy has too much to contend with at the moment. And yet, not as much as usual to do. It's now two months since she had her Laparotomy and Hysterectomy surgery to send Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst off on his new adventures. One month since she had her Cubital Tunnel surgery. As far as her recovery goes, Clever Bird thinks that Baggy is well ahead of schedule. Her stomach generally feels pretty normal. That is until she does something stupid, like slipping. Then she realises that perhaps it's not quite right in there. But of course she knows in reality that it can't be fully healed. If it was, why was she not even allowed to restart her Tribal dance class until this week? And it's another month before Grotty Groom is permitted to ride, or to look after the horses. But the wound is healing very well. Generally it no longer gives any pain. Although there is still a weird dip in the middle of the wound. And the top of Baggy's stomach is still swollen. Mind you as Clever Bird pointed out to Baggy, that could just be fat! She is still in Christmas over-eating mode. Although she did just polish off the very last ("waffer-theen") mince pie! Slimming World on Friday to check the bad news. Hmmmm!

As far as her arm recovery goes; Baggy drove today. Yay! Only into the local town (about five miles), then back again an hour or so later. But she drove. Her elbow didn't start hurting until she was nearly home. Then there was a bit of a stabbing pain. But nothing too bad. Baggy can almost (but not quite) straighten her arm. It's still slightly swollen. It still hurts a lot if it's knocked, or if Baggy forgets herself and leans on it. But if she was in the United States, it would not even be out of plaster for another two weeks! So again it's doing really well. Freda Fretter is concerned that Baggy can't close her fingers properly, but Clever Bird is hopeful that it will be fine once the swelling has gone. So, really Baggy is a strong old bird. Definitely doing well. She just has to contend with flipping Hormonal Hannah who is finding it hilarious to bring Baggy out in massive hot flushes at the most awkward of moments. Mind you, the gang are on top of Hannah as far as the "feeling pathetic" trend is going. That is with one exception.

Hormonal Hannah is still preventing Grotty Groom from going over to see her beloved Boys. She knows that Grotty will get upset, seeing them, but not even being able to groom them. Plus she's convinced that Grotty will just upset them too, turning up for a few minutes and then vanishing again. But Grotty misses them terribly. So now that Baggy can drive, she will be going over to see them at some point this week.

 

 

But you see. There's the point. It's Wednesday. Clever Bird thought it was Tuesday. Creative Clara completely forgot to blog yesterday. (Sorry bloggees). The week is virtually over. But all the days are blurring. It seems like months and months since her arm surgery, let alone her Lawrence surgery. It really isn't that long. Baggy needs to learn some patience, or she's going to set herself back...........

Day 56 - The Boy's a Genius.

While walking Minty Mutt this morning, Clever Bird decided to keep Baggy's brain occupied. She tried to work out how many words Mint understands. She lost count. And track.

Mint
Okay
Wait
No
Good boy
Clever lad
Heel
Don't pull
Slowly
Gently
Sit
Down
Stay
Lie
Settle
Back
Over
Move
Out
In
Off
Now
On
Bed
Chewie
Ball
Find
Cheese
Sausage
Starfish
Collar
Wee-wee
Doo-doo
Go
Quiet (although this is generally ignored, unless Calum says it)
Shut up (likewise)
Come
Here
Quick
Shake
Mind
Stop
Enough
Dad
Fetch
Bring
Drop
Leave
Drink
Food
Paw
This way
That way
Go straight
Round
Over
Through
Up
Jump

And sign language for a lot of those commands. Not just the obvious ones like sit, stay etc. either. Ones like, off, down, enough. Contrary to some "experts", he also understands when Furry Mama points at something, or in a direction.

He also understands full sentences. No really he does.

What's this?
Who is it?
Go on your bed.
Get out of the way.
I'm just going to do the Boys now (cue hop on his bed and wait for a chewie)
Would you like a cup of tea?
Make your mind up.
Would you like a tummy tickle?
What are you doing?
Really? I don't think so!
I won't be very long.
Do you want to come with us?
Anytime now would be good.
Your decision.
That (noise) was me.

He'll even make a decision when given choices.

"Do you want to go on your bed or go out? I don't care which, but please get out of my way".
"Either lie down here, or go into the other room, Minty, or you're going to get trodden on".
"Do you want to go out or would you rather stay here and have a chewie?"

And more that Clever Bird will remember as soon as she posts this blog. Furry Mama is very proud of the lad. He is not a mutt at all. By definition he isn't, as he's a Pedigree German Shepherd. But neither is he as far as brains go. He is a seriously clever dog. A lot of what he understands, Furry Mama did not teach him. He's picked it up because she speaks to him all the time and clearly repeats herself a lot. Yes bloggees, Furry Mama is very proud of her mutt.

The Domestic Goddess just wishes that he had a self cleaning device in his fur. Especially when it's as muddy as it is at the moment. But she wouldn't change him for the world............