Day 55 - Wet!

Clever Bird is really not at all sure why Baggy is still so tired. She made Baggy go to bed early last night. 10.30pm. Calum left for work at 6.30am. Yep, it is Sunday, of a Bank Holiday weekend. But Baggy is bankrupting us, so needs must. Baggy was woken by the phone. It was Calum. It was noon! Frankly, Baggy wanted to go back to sleep, (encouraged by Freda Fretter) but Furry Mama wouldn't let her. It explained why both Hinge and Bracket had dive-bombed Furry Mama more than once. Baggy dragged herself out of bed and fed the furries. Showered. Decided to do the right thing and take Minty Mutt out. Despite the torrential rain and the sideways winds. Furry Mama wants Mint to keep his puppy mojo. But it's an awful day. Clever Bird has got rather too used to the weird mild spring weather. But. Furry Mama insisted. So Clever Bird dressed Baggy appropriately. Full length waterproof riding mac. Waterproof boots. Well they would be if they weren't completely ripped through.  Australian waterproof Crocodile Dundee hat. Snuggly snood. Hairy Biker Hen's Hi-viz. Okay that made Baggy look ridiculous instead of stylish, but frankly, it was dark!

 

Baggy and Minty got soaked! Clever Bird is glad they went out immediately though, because it's now really, really dark and still pouring with rain. Yesterday, on the lovely, sunny, warm walk that Baggy and Mint did with Calum, Grotty Groom wanted to canter one of the tracks we walked along. It's a footpath though. Clever Bird said, "it was a shame because it was a perfect canter". But of course, that's why it was! No horses were allowed on it. If they were, by now it would be pure mud. So today she was a little surprised to see hoof prints! Not even on the big wide "canter" track. No. On the narrow grass footpaths around the edges of the field. Even up the specially built wooden "staircase" down (or up) a steep bank. Hmmmm! Some horse riders give others a bad name.

 



Well at least the rider couldn't go the "wetlands" route. There is a gate in the way.

 

Mind you, it might have been better had Furry Mama not gone that way either. The clue was the torrential rain. (Hence apologies for the blurry photos! Creative Clara insisted on taking them, but the phone got soaked!) Clever Bird did realise that there was a "track" that had been laid, when Minty tried to pick up a "stick" out of the mud. Very prehistoric.

 

 

Actually, flipping lethal as well! Baggy slipped on it! There's a surprise. Pulled her stomach again. Will she ever learn? Mint had more sense. Having established that his "stick" was not coming out of the ground, he circumnavigated it. Much more sensible.

 

 

So Baggy decided to follow suit. Sank. Got soaking wet feet. It is a lovely walk though. Archaeology Annie realises that higher up on the edge of the "wetlands" is an old mediaeval track that runs parallel to one of the footpaths. It would have been the path to the Church. Creative Clara tried to get the photo. Failed. The Church is on the horizon. Through the rain..........

 







    

Day 54 - Locusts!

Clearly a swarm of locusts has been in our local supermarket! Clever Bird was convinced that there was no need to "panic buy" to ensure that the Baggy household had food for this weekend. Very wrong Clever Bird. Very wrong! Baggy got on the scales this morning. Not marvellous. Freda Fretter was very conscious of having eaten for England for the last few weeks. Clever Bird kept making Baggy get on the scales. She appeared to be getting away with it. Healing calories. It made sense to Clever Bird. Well presumably Baggy is pretty healed, because this morning the scales told her to "get off" them. The scales are highly unreliable at Baggy's house, but still, it didn't look good. The plan was therefore to buy lots of Slimming World healthy stuff. Pah! Not a piece of fresh salmon or cod in sight. No liver. No low fat mince. Barely any fruit. Very sad looking vegetables. No fromage frais or Greek yoghurt. Even the frozen food sections were rather depleted. Rubbish. Well done again Clever Bird. Presumably the staff are going to have a very very busy night tonight re-stocking the shelves.

At least Furry Mama burnt off quite a few calories this morning. Clever Bird put Calum in charge of route selection, to encourage him to come with us. Little did Furry Mama and Minty Mutt expect him to add quite a bit to our route. We even visited the village Church. The one that Calum and Baggy were married in, five-and-a-half years ago. Clever Bird did realise, as she tried to get over the stile today, that Baggy hurt her stomach yesterday more than she had thought. The ghost of Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst was making himself very felt with every step Baggy took. Annoying. Must admit Baggy's arm is "burning" once more too. But that possibly has something to do with Furry Mama waking up with Hinge (a.k.a. the low-slung one) asleep on her arm. In fact she had cat-ends this morning. She woke up sandwiched in place by the two of them. At least she has been properly forgiven now for the vet visit.

So, as a result of the slightly abortive shopping trip, tonight we are having rump steak with baked potatoes, mushrooms and tomatoes. Lovely. Baggy just needs not to do her usual thing of having a little bit of baked potato with her butter..........

Day 53 - 2016 starts...........

Well Happy New Year bloggees. The gang all hope that you have a really great 2016. Clever Bird is hopeful that this one might not disappear as quickly as 2015 did. Baggy plans on making the most of every moment of it anyway. Life really is short. Baggy is not getting any younger. She will be fifty seven this year. None of the gang are quite sure how that happened. We are however very grateful that we have the chance to get older. Not that Baggy is planning on "acting her age". Quite frankly, she has no idea a) how that should look or b) why she should, even if she did know how. So the gang will carry on as usual, once Baggy is fully back to "normal".

The day started with Calum and Furry Mama trying to persuade Hinge and Bracket to forgive them for taking them to the vets yesterday. They hopped on the bed as usual, for a morning stroke. Hinge forgave quickly and purred her head off.  Bracket, not so much. A purr emerged, but it was a very quiet (resentful) one. Baggy finally dragged herself and Calum out of bed at 11.00am. (Cal had a good excuse, he started work at 1.00am yesterday morning. So he'd been up for twenty-four hours by the time we'd watched the New Year fireworks on the telly. Baggy hadn't!) Furry Mama was even less popular with the cats, when she dished out the reduced breakfast portions. But a bit of tough love is required.

Calum then tackled (the brushing of) Baggy's hair. It hadn't been touched since Baggy's sister brushed and washed it. Sixteen days ago! Hmmmmmm! Baggy lost count of the ouches! But he managed it, finally. Baggy then shoved it in a "halo" pony tail. Ridiculous! There's a reason why Clever Bird doesn't brush it between washes. Baggy looked like a mad woman. But Clever Bird was confident that Baggy's arm was up to washing it, once the tangles/dreadlocks were out. But Furry Mama needed to walk Minty Mutt first. It was very cold. Hence, not washing Baggy's hair until afterwards. Baggy put lots of layers on. Too many as it turned out. Minty Mutt walked so quickly, that Baggy heated up rather quickly. Then the sun started to break through the cloud. Actually, it was quite mild!

The weather is insane really. Apart from the catkins, which are now all out, there were mosquitoes everywhere. The daffodils are about to flower! And there was a little patch of primroses already in bloom. Crazy. Rather sad too, if the weather does get bad. It must also have rained more than Clever Bird realised. Today's route turned out to be rather a muddy one. At one point we had to go over a little wooden footbridge over a ditch. Just a couple of wooden planks really. But they are not covered with chicken wire, like most are these days. Furry Mama watched Minty trot over it and Clever Bird thought, "Thank goodness he didn't slip". She followed a minute later. Baggy's right boot skidded about a foot on the wet wood. She was about to go flying. So instinctively, she threw her shoulders back to get her balance and stop the skid. It worked. But it tore Baggy's stomach muscles. Every now and again Clever Bird is reminded why Baggy is still not permitted to let Grotty Groom get back to work.

Furry Mama got Mint to wait while Baggy recovered from the shock. And the pain. She was fine after a couple of minutes. Home. Mint dried off. Baggy washed her hair. Her arm survived. Then she decided to start the new year as she means to go on. Creative Clara dug out some clothes that she hasn't worn for years. At least eight, as Calum has never seen them, because Clara got bored with them and Grotty took over Baggy's days. Baggy's been too big to wear them for the last five years anyway. But now that she is two-and-a-half stone lighter it occurred to Clever Bird that they might fit once more. Baggy could get the skirt on. Just. She was another half-a-stone lighter when she bought it. But, Clara wants to regain her "style", to go with her grey hair. (Told you she wasn't going to "act her age"). So while ever Grotty doesn't need to be in jodphurs, Clara is going to be in charge of Baggy's clothes. In a week's time, as she'll be able to drive (hopefully), Baggy is off back to Slimming World. Lose another stone and there's a whole wardrobe of "new" old clothes to wear. Can't wait. Baggy just needs to finish off all the Christmas food and the gang can get back on track.......

Day 52 - Furry Mama - Cats - Vets - Hmmmmmm!

Furry Mama made a really big mistake when she was given Hinge and Bracket as her Wedding Present from Calum five-and-a-half years ago. They were rescue kittens. Probably about twelve or so weeks old at the time. Terrified of the world. Her intention was to take them out and about in their cat basket so that they got used to it and the car. She didn't do it. Big mistake. BIG.

The only time that they have ever been in their basket is to be driven home and to go to the vets. Result. Cat basket equals pure terror. Today they needed to go for their annual jabs. Well actually, they didn't. It could have waited a couple of weeks. But today Baggy had two text messages from the vet reminding her that their jabs were due. She's so stressed at the moment that she knows that if she doesn't do stuff almost immediately, she totally forgets to do (whatever) it (is). She blames Hormonal Hannah for this. Truth is though that Hinge is SO fat, that Baggy can barely lift the two of them in their basket, even with a fully functioning arm. Plus she can't drive. So as Calum was home, today seemed like a good day to take them. Clever Bird made a last minute appointment for one hours time from the phone call.

Clever Bird asked Calum to go and retrieve the cat basket from the shed. He still had his boots on after walking Minty Mutt. Baggy had already discarded hers. (The Domestic Goddess gets hoity-toity if people tread mud around the house, but Calum hasn't quite got this memo yet). As he was heading out of the kitchen door, Clever Bird yelled, "Whatever you do don't let the cats out or we'll be stuffed!" Now Furry Mama is pretty sure that Bracket kat speaks English. Both cats were upstairs at the time. As she uttered these immortal words, Bracket shot downstairs and charged between Baggy's legs. Shot across the kitchen. Got to the back door, just as Calum opened it. His boot did not prevent her from shooting out of the house! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

The next thirty minutes was spent with Calum and Furry Mama alternately trying to persuade Bracket to come back in. But she knew something was amiss. Every time Clever Bird thought she was on her way in, she shot off. Furry Mama decided to phone the vets and cancel the appointment. Calum told her to give it one last try. She walked all the way up the garden calling her. No good. Give up. She walked back to the house, to see Bracket walking back out of the kitchen via the open door. Hmmmm! Bracket let Furry Mama pick her up. Oh the guilt!!!!! Back door shut. Cat basket hidden. Calum scooped Bracket up and got her in the basket. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. At the top of her voice. Great. Warn Hinge why don't you? Calum managed to collect Hinge from upstairs. Next trick. Get Hinge in the basket while stopping Bracket from getting out. Failed. Hinge put one paw in each corner. Then escaped. Shot upstairs. Fortunately, she stopped half way up rather than hiding under a bed. Furry Mama managed to pick her up. But all her front claws were firmly attached to the stair carpet. Baggy finally detached her. Hurt her arm in the process.

 

Calum sat the basket on its end. Dropped Hinge in. On top of poor Bracket. Needs must! Even Calum could barely lift it! Hinge is not small. She takes after her Furry Mama and Dad. Big boned.

 

 

The meowing all the way to the vets was heart breaking. But once Calum could actually now persuade them to get out of the basket, they just freeze. Bless them. No clawing. No spitting. Nothing. They become perfect patients because they are so scared. Jabs given. Lecture received. AGAIN! Because they are both over weight. Bracket (the skinny one) is 7/9. Hinge is 9/9. Oh dear. Various toys bought by Furry Mama on the way home. Plus they are both now on the Slimming World diet for cats! Well at least Baggy has burnt off a few extra calories from all the drama.......

 

 

Day 51 - Baggy and the gang are out of sorts.

Truth be told, it's all got a bit much for Baggy and the gang today. 2015 could have gone rather better than it did. Clever Bird knows that everything is catching up with Baggy and she's feeling exhausted. It has not been an easy day and Hormonal Hannah has gone in to overdrive. It would be less hard if Calum wasn't away in his lorry. Baggy got used to having him around over Christmas. He did offer to come home today, but after all the time he's had to take off work to look after her, it seemed very unreasonable of Baggy to ask! So she told him she was "fine". She's not. She only had about five hours sleep last night. She's exhausted. Her arm is seriously painful. Yet at the same time it has no sensation in parts of it where the surgery was. How is that even possible? Her little finger is really swollen and won't bend properly. But the biggest issues are emotional ones. Sometimes in life it all gets too much. Today is one of those days.

Baggy is not liking being on her own at all. She spends most of the time on her own normally. Calum is away all week in his lorry. Baggy is by herself. But usually Grotty Groom is at the yard for at least four or five hours of the day. So not only does she spend time with her horses, she also gets to see friends at the yard. She can have a human conversation. Not so at the moment. Baggy cannot drive, because her arm isn't strong enough. So she is stuck at home.  She's spent a large part of the day talking to Calum and her sister, Debby, on the phone, but she's still on her own. Baggy got rather used to being with Debby and her niece Abigail, when she was being looked after in Kent. Now she feels the loneliness more. Baggy no longer enjoys her solitude!!!! There she has said it. The anti-social bird is missing company.

So much so in fact that she has possibly just upset the neighbours by getting Furry Mama to have a long, very loud conversation with Minty Mutt. Usually the conversation is one way. Lots of Baggy wittering. No response from the mutt. Every now and again he finds his voice. Today he did. It's a high pitched "woof" in response to every word that Furry Mama utters. As she needed conversation today she encouraged him. It was loud and raucous. It went on for a long time. He started doing play bows and it all got a bit over excited. Baggy's arm got knocked, so Furry Mama stopped. But it cheered the gang up.

Now, rightly or wrongly. Almost certainly wrongly, she's on the wine. Usually Baggy tries not to drink on her own. Actually, she wasn't drinking at all, as it's too fattening on her Slimming World path. But today she needed a glass or three of wine..........

  

Day 50 - Wow, where does time go?

Creative Clara seems to have been typing all day. She's only just finished her third part of her series for www.channillo.com - "The everyday stories of Baggy Body and her gang". She's gone back to the beginning as it were, when Lawrence was first discovered, so Clever Bird's brain is currently marginally frazzled. Not helped by the fact that she had a bright idea that she could type it in "Word" first then just upload it on to the site. No. For reasons that are too boring to explain she cannot do that at the moment, so she's had to type it twice. Yay. It's done. But then she remembered that she had let you bloggees down, so here we are.

Calum has been back at work for two days now, so Christmas seems an age ago. But Furry Mama is still determined to keep Minty Mutt's inner puppy woofing. As it is such a beautiful sunny day, she decided to take him on the same walk that we did yesterday, but add a bit. She noticed three other footpaths yesterday. It seemed like a plan to explore. "Don't forget the stile though" said Calum, when Baggy told him of Furry Mama's intentions. "No, that's fine. This new route misses it" said Clever Bird. Oh no it doesn't. The extra three paths are just past the stile!

 

There are two things to say about this (apart from the fact that Clever Bird is an idiot). Firstly the stile is half the height that Creative Clara described it as yesterday. It's probably a foot high. Secondly, the platform on top of it is much wider than she described. Probably about four inches wide. So today Minty Mutt was determined to prove to his Furry Mama that he really is a puppy. He gave it rather a long look. Considered his options. Hesitated.

 

 

 

"Go for it, Minty Mutt, you can do it!" encouraged Furry Mama. Bless him. He went for it. It wasn't elegant and it wasn't pretty, but the old lad got over it without Baggy hurting her arm having to lift him over.

 

 

 

By now Minty Mutt was on a mission. When we arrived at the extra three footpaths a little while later, Furry Mama chose the one that headed straight on towards the village Church. Amazingly though, Mint was trotting along so quickly that we were back home again in around the same forty-five minutes as the shorter route yesterday. Clever Bird reckons we'll have to try the other two paths and see where they go next. Baggy is very lucky to live in such a beautiful part of the world........

 



 

 

 



 

 

  

Day 49 - How many mince pies can one Baggy eat?

The house is looking lovely and tidy again thanks to The Goddess. She's definitely making up for the absence of Grotty Groom. Freda Fretter does prefer to be in a nice environment and she's determined to keep The Goddess on plan this time. It burns off quite a few calories while Grotty is off duty too. Just as well really because Baggy is still working her way through the mince pies, Christmas cake and biccies that are hanging about. Freda is slightly worried that Baggy's arm is still a bit swollen.  Clever Bird couldn't work out why it still won't go straight, but looking in the mirror, it is still about a centimetre more swollen than the other one. So presumably that's why. Baggy can use it a lot more now, but it is odd. If she touches the elbow area it's numb and yet put any pressure on it by leaning on it for instance and it hurts like heck. So clearly it's got quite a way to go before it's healed.

Baggy did manage to drive on Christmas Day, but she had Calum with her to help with any difficult steering issues. But Grotty was determined to see her Boys, so she was prepared to make the effort. But quiet Christmas Day country roads are one thing. Busy town roads and car parks are an entirely different issue. Clever Bird is well aware that Baggy is not ready for that yet. She's not even ready for straight roads unless Calum is with her, so she's stuck in the village. But that's a good thing for Minty Mutt and the house. By the time that Calum gets home from work on Thursday, the house and the dog will both be sparkly...........