Day 119 - Things are a-changing around here.

Another glorious, sunny but freezing Suffolk day. But it's not raining. Which is good because today Baggy's house is having new gates and fencing to the front garden. The "gate-man" is currently fighting with the gate posts while trying to dodge the speeding cars that come down the little lane driven by complete idiots. This is one of the main reasons why they are being fitted. Despite being run-over and seriously hurt when he was fifteen months old, Minty Mutt has zero road sense. The cheaper option would have been just to remove the rotten gates and leave the drive open. But Creative Clara doesn't like that look. And Furry Mama would have been too worried for Minty Mutt's safety. But it couldn't wait any longer to be done. They were rotten. Not helped by a bus having driven into the post box we used to have on the front of them and ripping it off.

The "before".

Plus of course, Baggy was not proud to have been letting the neighbourhood down. The gates were just a tad embarrassing. Well, yes, okay, they were exceptionally embarrassing. But the chap doing them was really very reasonably priced, so today is the day. Furry Mama took Minty for his walk, to try to wear him out so that he'd stop guarding her from the "gate-man" and his pneumatic drill! Mind you he has now left to go for an emergency dental appointment. So of course Clara just shot out to have a look at how it's going. The old posts are ridiculously long! Clever Bird realises that the chap might now be regretting his quote. But at least they're out.

Clever Bird is just praying that he doesn't come back from his appointment in even more agony and not able to carry on! As Calum is at work she sent Mini-Calum out to check that things were satisfactory. He approved.

But the sooner they're up the better now as for some reason Hormonal Hannah feels just as vulnerable as Minty Mutt would without anything there........

Day 118 - Baggy has seen all her kids today.

Window-shopping at the DIY store completed. Tick. Lawnmower chosen. Tick. Now just need some money to pay for it. But it will be free, so that's all good. Baggy's charge card has decided to stop offering its "points" system on spending. Clever Bird has cashed her points in for gift vouchers for the DIY superstore. They should arrive this week. Tick.

Baggy then drove Grotty and Calum over to see the horses. Calum offered to jet wash Brucie (Baggy's car) en route. It was filthy and covered in bird poo. Good plan. Baggy sat in the car while Calum cleaned him. Tick. Baggy carried on to the yard. The Boys were still in their paddocks. Baggy decided to keep driving. It is so cold that more coal is required. She drove to the store that sells coal. Sent Calum in with strict instructions not to get side-tracked. Hmmmm! After fifteen minutes Hormonal Hannah was getting ratty. Bloomin' man. Why does he love shopping so much? She was about to go in and find him when he appeared - sans coal. Apparently they've sold out. Clever Bird said it was freezing. He did however have a load of other "bits". Men. Fail.

Back to the yard. The Boys were still out. Enjoying the sunshine. Munching grass. The Yard Owner saw Grotty and said that they were just going to bring them in. No problem. The Boys were very happy to be out. They came in. Covered in mud. Happy as (well) horses. Joey spotted Grotty and headed straight towards her for a pat. Wesley got jealous and towed the Groom bringing him in, to get to Grotty. "Oooooo, jealous Boy", said the Groom. Yep. That would be The Wessles. By now it was almost 4.00pm and The Domestic Goddess knew that the pork they'd bought for supper would take at least two hours to cook. Plus it was freezing! Quick cuddle. Grotty brushed (hand-picked) the hardened mud out of the bit of Wesley's mane where a plait had come out. Redid the plait. Brushed the mud of his face and neck. And his ears. And behind his ears. Honestly, he looked like a naughty schoolboy with mud behind his ears. (Clearly he had been doing headstands in his field). And the fur in his ears. And his fringe (fetlock). Quickly did his legs too. And checked him over. Apart from the huge amount of fur (hair) coming out, he looks very well and perfectly happy. Grotty decided to stop worrying about him. Tick.

Livery bill collected. Eeeeek! Freda Fretter went back into worry and guilt mode. Tough. Stop it. As Calum says "You can always earn more money". Clever Bird is not entirely sure that that is true, but she'll go with it to shut Freda up. Having watched Joey and Calum being brought in through the mud and how the handlers were struggling to walk through it, Baggy is still not strong enough to know Grotty will cope. So. It is what it is. Tick.

Home. Via the Church car park to buy some "charity" wood for the fire. None there. Told you it is cold. Fail. Thankfully there is enough for tonight. Fire lit. Tick. Furries all fed. Tick. Pork in. Happy Baggy. Tick..........

Day 118 - Mother's Day in the U.K.

Happy Mother's Day to all you bloggee Mamas, furry ones and otherwise. Furry Mama was once again spoilt by her furries and Grotty Groom's Boys. They are extremely clever to know that it even is Mothering Sunday, let alone to be able to shop. Very proud of them. The Boys were in charge of the present. They chose Grotty the cutest little Pandora charm for Baggy's bracelet. It has a riding boot, a body brush and a horseshoe on it. Cute.

 

They also picked a card out. What's more Baggy received a second card too. This one was from her beautiful Goddaughter. Spoilt Baggy.

 

 

Furry number one, Calum, cooked breakfast. Baggy resisted having a sausage. Minty Mutt had hers. Grotty is looking forward to going and thanking Wesley and Joey for their present later. She hasn't seen them since last weekend. Baggy's choice. Too cold. But also it's very hard, not being able to ride yet. Soon though. Soon. Mind you only if Lawrence stops biting Baggy's stomach. But Grotty's computer-horse ride is next weekend, so that will be the real test of Baggy's stomach strength. Exciting.

 

The only downside of today is that Calum seemed to get a taste for window-shopping yesterday. Baggy will shortly be dragged out from in front of the lovely fire and made to go to the DIY superstore. She will be kicking and screaming. Mind you that might keep her warm. It's freezing out there today. What will they be looking for you ask? Well among other things (no idea what, this is Calum we're talking about), a lawnmower. Gloria Gardener's went kaput last year. The thingy that makes it go forward automatically, broke. Cal tried to fix it. Managed to turn it into a high-revving racing lawnmower. It now sounds as though it will blow up at any second. Baggy worries for her life when Gloria uses it. Not to mention her hearing. The lawnmower "fixers" won't even consider fixing it. It was eighteen years old, so it's had a good life and earned its retirement. So needs must. But why do we have to window-shop? Baggy would much rather just go and get one when they have the money. Ah well. Her husband wants to window shop, she loves him, so see you all later. Have a lovely day.......



Day 117 - Lawrence-the-phantom-durmoid-cyst is biting.

It's been a long long day. Pleasant. But long. Furry Mama walked Minty Mutt. Calum would not go with them. Probably wise. It was extremely cold and pretty damp. Once home The Domestic Goddess rustled up some brunch. They then set off into the local town to go to the bank. Which was shut. Well done Clever Bird. Baggy was all for just going to the supermarket to buy food, then heading home again. But no. No bloggees, Baggy's husband is your classic hairy biker. A proper "bloke". But in many many ways, he is the woman in the relationship. Baggy always was a bit of a tom-boy. She likes nice clothes, but has never liked shopping for them. So Creative Clara will find her a few nice small boutique-type shops, or hippy shops, where the staff get to know her and outfits will appear as if by magic. Going on a shopping expedition is a bit of a nightmare. She hates it. As for food shopping. Pah! And window shopping. What's that all about? Just frustrating. Seeing stuff that you'd like but can't afford. Pointless. To Baggy that is. Not to Calum. He loves it.

So popping to the (closed) bank ended up being a five hour outing. To be fair, Creative Clara wanted a notebook. Well that was a faff. What is it with people needing lined paper? Can't people write unless they have little lines drawn out for them to follow? Every single notebook had daft, annoying lines on the pages. Clara likes to write in different sizes. It depends on her mood. Sometimes her writing is tiny. Sometimes huge. It wanders about a bit too. Usually it slopes up. But not always. But she doesn't want to follow other people's ideas of how big it should be. Or how straight it should be. She wants to do her own thing. And do the odd diagram. Or drawing. Without silly lines going through it. So it did take four different shops to find an un-lined notebook. Covered in hand-made silk. Twice the price of any lined one. Nothing new there then for Baggy. But it was literally the only un-lined book they could find. Cappuccino break required. Before heading to the supermarket.

Nope. No chance. Cappuccino finished. Or coffee and a very delicious looking pastry in Calum's case. Cruel to Baggys on diets. So she nicked a bit of it. Cal spotted an art exhibition in the Church. Visited. Then an outdoor activities' clothes shop. Boots were required apparently. So he could go out with Furry Mama. Fail. None big enough. Right, now are we going supermarket shopping? Nope. "Now where are we going?" asked a very grumpy Hormonal Hannah. "Well we never go out anywhere, so......" "So? Where are we going?" No answer. Baggy, whose back was now killing her, traipsed along behind. Into a very lovely interior design shop. "Oh well, at least there'll be a sofa to sit and sulk on" thought Hormonal Hannah. Calum started ooo-ing and aah-ing over lots of different fabrics. Baggy sat on the sofa and watched in bemusement as Lawrence-the-phantom-durmoid-cyst started to hurt Baggy quite a lot. Freda Fretter wasn't sure whether it was the cold, or all the walking, but she started to worry about why it hurt so much. Cue hot flush. Great, thanks for that Hannah. A sales assistant appeared. "Can I help?" "Well, we're just window-shopping for curtains to go with our new sofa and chair when they arrive", said Calum. Baggy sighed and settled back into the very comfy sofa. In the end, Clara got involved, if only because she dreaded to think what ideas might be planted in a certain husband's head otherwise. One-and-a-half hours later, around twenty fabric samples had been ordered. Finally. To the pesky supermarket. For another hour or more. Shopping unpacked. Supper cooked (by Calum) and devoured. It is nearly 9.00pm and Clara can only now blog. Baggy just wishes that Lawrence-the-phantom would put his teeth away..........

Day 116 - Another near disaster!

Oh yes bloggees, Baggy Body is "back on it". After her previous disappointments because she has been only half-heartedly following the Slimming World plan, Clever Bird decided that if Baggy felt that disappointed, she should try a bit harder. She did. Yay. She got her first shiny sticker since before she found Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst! Her certificate is back on the fridge! She can do this. Hormonal Hannah is not going to put her off course.

 

As part of her plan, even though Calum was home from work, Furry Mama was determined to go for a long walk with Minty Mutt. As Cal has been up since 2.00am this morning, Baggy didn't mind him staying at home. Off they set. Minty Mutt fancied the really long walk through Ager Fen Nature Reserve and the dormouse sanctuary. It's a stunning day. Creative Clara took her camera. Minty Mutt sniffed out a new route. Up a really rather steep hill.

 



Through a new bit of woodland.

Through the very boggy Ager Fen. It poured with rain last night, so was even wetter than usual.

The walkway is a bit of a clue for Clever Bird. Boggy, being the operative word Clever Bird. But Creative Clara was so busy taking photos and admiring the views that she distracted Furry Mama from her duties. Before she knew what was happening Minty Mutt had stepped off the walkway and was heading for a drink. In a bog. One that Furry Mama never lets him near. He understands "no". He doesn't go in. She watched all this from a distance, in a little world of her own. Who Baggy? Yes, bloggees it does seem unlikely doesn't it, but Baggy was in another world. Really! Anyway, the point was that suddenly, Furry Mama was watching Minty sink very quickly into a bog! Nooooooooo! Pity she didn't actually say that out loud. He was well and truly stuck. The more he tried to get out, the deeper he went in. Fortunately his back legs were still on solid ground. But he was up to his chin in gloopy mud. By the time Baggy got Furry Mama to him he was well and truly stuck and beginning to panic. His nose was about to go under. Now to give Furry Mama her due, she refused to let Creative Clara take photos. She got Baggy straight into action to rescue the mutt. Trouble was the only way to help him was to grab his collar and pull him up, but he was sinking further and she could barely reach it. Thankfully, he did a panic lurch, which pushed him in her direction. That meant she could grab the collar without falling in the bog herself. She managed to get him out. Just. The smell. Ghastly!

Back on the lead (just in case), they set off once again. Baggy let Minty go in a stream that Furry Mama knew had a firm bottom. At least he washed off some of the stinky gloop.

 

The whole episode reminded Grotty Groom of the time that she disappeared into a bog on top of a horse! Riding in Northumberland across the moors, Grotty was at the back of the ride. There were about nine horses. The Trail Leader warned we were in bog land. "Make sure that you stay in the hoof prints of the horse in front of you". Well Grotty thought they had. Suddenly though, her horse literally vanished underneath her. Baggy whisked Grotty's feet up, still in the stirrup irons, to above the bog surface. "Get off, get off", screamed the Trail Leader. Clever Bird had figured that out for herself. Doing it was a different matter. Nothing to press against. In the end she had to whisk Baggy's feet out of the stirrups and throw herself sideways by pushing on the poor horse's neck. Then Grotty was lying on the solid moor, inches away from a horse flailing and trying to get out of the gloop that was literally up to the top of her legs. Instinct made Baggy roll out of the way, just as the horse managed to leap out sideways in the same direction, now that she was free of Baggy's weight, missing Baggy by inches. Bless her though, she stuck her nose down to check that Grotty was okay. She was fine. More importantly the horse was fine. Just very smelly. Afterwards it was concluded that each horse had only needed to be a couple of inches left of where it should have been, for Grotty's horse to be over eighteen inches left of the trail. And therefore in the bog! Ah, the memories.

 

By now Furry Mama and Minty Mutt had already been out for an hour and walking through the gloop was hard work on Baggy's stomach. They headed to the dormouse sanctuary and a bench for a rest. Baggy reckons that the bag of crisps she had for lunch with her healthy sandwich when they finally got home, was well-deserved.............

 

 

 





Day 115 - Why would you live in the sticks?

Hello bloggees. Sorry for vanishing for a day. It was not out of choice, but that's the joys of living in the sticks. Clever Bird knows that Baggy is very lucky to live in such a lovely village in a stunning part of the world. It really is incredibly beautiful round here. It is also very peaceful and very safe. The village is still one with an old-fashioned community spirit. People know each other. There are even little village events. Your classic English village fete. Harvest supper. Group walks. Village barbeques. All very quaint. Neighbours help each other out. Other villagers recognise you, even if they don't know you. Dog walkers all speak to each other. Everyone says "good morning" etc etc. Lovely. Yesterday for instance, Baggy popped into the little plant centre to see whether they sold gardening hand-tools for doing pots. As Gloria Gardener cannot find hers anywhere, Baggy decided she needed new ones. Baggy had no money on her as Furry Mama was out with Minty. So it was just an enquiry. They did have tools. "Oh, lovely" said Baggy, "I'll come back when I've got some money". "That's okay" said the sales lady, "take what you like and pay me when you are passing again". "Are you sure?" asked Freda Fretter, who has only ever been in the plant centre twice before. "Yes, I've seen you loads of times". Baggy left with various tools and a kneeler and realised that the lady must have seen her walking Minty Mutt past her shop.

However, despite the village being just twenty minutes drive from the pretty major town of Colchester, it might as well be in the middle of nowhere. There is no gas supply to the village. There is no mains sewage in the village. The electricity supply is via overhead wires to each house. Power cuts are therefore frequent if it gets a bit windy. The phone lines are also overhead cables. The house land-line has possibly worked for three days in the last three weeks. Apparently a lorry knocked a pole down this time. It still isn't working. There is absolutely no sign of a fibre-optic cable anywhere near the village. Broadband? No chance. None. Baggy and Calum have to rely on a little dongle hanging in the kitchen window (the only place in the whole house where it will get a signal). Unless of course it rains and the thatch gets wet, then it won't work at all. Or of course if Creative Clara has been blogging too much and her credit runs out. As it did yesterday.

So once again, sorry bloggees, but Creative Clara couldn't get on t'internet to blog. The only reason she can get on today, is because Baggy went and met her husband in a lay-by while he had a break and nicked his SIM card off him. He can go two days without t'internet before the new credit goes on. He won't get the withdrawal symptoms that Clara gets! Mind you, Baggy got so bored without t'internet access, that she got Gloria Gardener to put her tools to good use. Two hours gardening done in the front garden yesterday. Three hours done in the back garden today. Obviously Baggy has over done it, but at least she might have burnt off some extra calories for Fat Club tomorrow. Now it's time for supper and fire worshiping. Oh and in case you're wondering - yes Baggy and Calum love living in the sticks. It would just be nice to join the twenty-first century though............

Day 113 - Brain transplant needed?

Baggy has never suffered from insomnia. Well that's not strictly true but that's another entirely different story. Oh, you want to know bloggees? Well, around sixteen years ago Baggy rented a little one-bedroomed flat in Teddington in Greater London. It was in a complex of modern low-rise flats that over-looked Bushy Park (one of the old Royal hunting parks). In fact it is still absolutely full of deer. During the rutting season the noise of the stags trying to out-"moo" each other was spectacular. They were often literally a few yards from Baggy's sitting room. Don't panic, they were the other side of a road and a high wall, but Baggy's flat was the upper one (of two floors) so she could watch them easily. Nope, they weren't the problem. That was a complete aside by Creative Clara. Sorry.

The problem was Psychic Ploppo. Every single night for a matter of weeks, Ploppo was "visited" by (literally) a queue of people trying to get her attention. Imagine if you will, the slowly moving queue to get into a theatre, popular restaurant or football ground. Imagine that you are a few feet away from this queue, staring at it from the side. Imagine that every single one of the people in the queue turn and look at you as they pass. Straight into your eyes. Seeming to want your help. But you have no idea what they want, because they don't speak. Well no, they probably were speaking. All at once. So all Baggy could hear was a babble of noise. Now hold the thought that this was a modern (1980's) flat on the first floor. It got so bad that Baggy was having a slight panic attack which resulted in serious palpitations every night as soon as she got into bed. She got scared to go to bed. Going to sleep made the visitors go away. But she couldn't get to sleep. It was only when a friend, who happens to be a professional psychic told Psychic Ploppo how to protect Baggy (by "surrounding" herself with a one-way mirror) that the visions stopped. No bloggees, neither Baggy or Plop have any idea what that was all about to this day. Or whether it's a common occurrence. Have any of you had a similar thing happen? Or know anything about it?

Anyway, let's start again. Baggy has never really suffered from insomnia. Until she found Lawrence. So that made some sense. Worry. But Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst has gone off on his new adventures, so why does Baggy now seem to suffer from insomnia nearly every night? She has always, always woken up (and had to get up) at least two or three times a night. Even as a kid. Lawrence's fault? Possibly. But she always went straight back to sleep almost instantly, once back in bed. But now, at some point during the night, one of these "get-ups", will result in an hour, two hours or more of lying in bed tossing, turning and getting more and more frustrated that she can't get back to sleep. Clever Bird is praying that the new mattress might help because frankly the adverts for Botox that have started to appear on Baggy's Facebook feed are quite well targeted. Well, no of course they're not really. Baggy would never have an operation out of choice personally. She's quite happy to age disgracefully...............