Baggy should not be allowed out!

Baggy had her lovely Fat Club meeting today. She didn't go last week as she was organising Grotty Groom to take the horses away for their holiday. Freda Fretter made Baggy get on the scales this morning before she left the house, just so she didn't get too much of a shock. It was all fine. Baggy is still within her target weight in spite of giving in to the call of the pancakes for the last two nights.

When she got home Creative Clara checked out her shop. She had another order.

This cute little dragonfly brooch is now flying off to Ukraine! Baggy has a regular bloggee in Ukraine, so Clever Bird was wondering if it was the same person! Her order two days ago, for this little paper weight went to Niagra Falls! She also has a regular bloggee (actually a few bloggees) in Canada. Clara loves being international.

Clara packed up the brooch and did her "bounce test" with the parcel. When Calum got home she whisked him straight off to the Post Office in the next village. Hormonal Hannah persuaded him (without difficulty) that they should grab a coffee and a bite of lunch in the village café. Baggy decided to try to be vaguely sensible and ordered a baby goat's cheese and what looked like mushroom, quiche with salad. When she took a mouthful she realised that the mushrooms were actually red onions that appeared to be pickled. So it wasn't really a quiche at all! It was actually a pastry flan with pickled red onions in it and a tiny sliver of goat's cheese on top. Not an egg, or any other cheese in sight. Hannah was most disappointed, especially when she watched Calum tucking into a lovely ham and cheese Panini. Clever Bird was muttering to her, "It's one thing eating loads of 'syns' when you are loving it, but when you are not enjoying it at all, that's just silly!" Baggy decided Clever Bird was right and left over half of it. Apart from not tasting very nice, the tart was also playing havoc with Baggy's "Geographic tongue" (look it up bloggees - not pretty!), and the tip of her tongue was burning.

"I really wish I hadn't ordered that," said Baggy to Calum, "it serves me right for not checking what was in it. My tongue hurts. Does it look okay?" she asked as she stuck it out at Calum.
"Well, it looks like the Grand Canyon".
"What? What do you mean?"
"You have a canyon down the middle of it?"
"WTF?"
"Go to the loo and look in the mirror".
Assuming that he was joking, Baggy toddled off to the loo. She stuck her tongue out at the mirror.
"Arghhhhhhhh!"
Sure enough there was a massive canyon in the middle of her tongue; red and raw! It looked as though it was splitting down the middle. Baggy prodded it gingerly with her finger. Much to Freda Fretters relief, it didn't promptly split in half and it didn't seem to hurt too much.
Baggy went back to Calum. Calum took one look at the expression on Baggy's face and burst out laughing.
"Should I be worried?"
"No, it's just because you're poorly".
"But it looks terrible. Like my tongue is going to split".
Chuckles.
"It's not funny".
"It is".
"So I don't need to go to hospital?"
"No. It's a sign you're poorly - just dehydrated."
"You're sure?"
"Yes. It's fine".
Hissing noises.
"I am NOT a snake".
Chuckles.
"You're 100% certain it's not serious? How do you know these things?"
"I used to work as a nurse remember?"
"Okay".
Forked tongue gesturing.
Baggy decided to ignore him and order Victoria Sponge cake to cheer herself up.

On the way home they popped into the auction viewing so that Creative Clara could see whether there were any nice lots for her shop. There were a couple, so she put in commission bids for them - much safer than "live" bidding. Then they spotted some perfect chairs for the holiday cottage dining table - another bid. Then Calum fell in love with a "George and the Dragon" - another bid, bearing in mind that it was "thrown in" with a set of cutlery. By now Baggy felt quite poorly. Too much heat (and she was wearing a sheepskin coat), caffeine shakes, sugar collapse and a stomach ache from the red onions - not to mention a still "burning" tongue. Calum was still looking at things.
"Please can we go now?"
"Okay". No sign of movement. Sigh. Baggy wandered over to the jewellery section. Clara spotted a very Bohemian necklace.
"Please could I see Lot 222?" Clara put it round Baggy's neck. She wandered off and looked in the mirror. It was gorgeous and went perfectly with her outfit.
"This is the thing I hate about auctions, I just want to buy this now", said Baggy to the auctioneer - another bid.

"Right, Calum, this is getting silly, we really should leave now, and I feel pretty rubbish".
"Coming".
They headed out of the room and were just about to go downstairs when Clara spotted a picture on the stairway.
"Wow, look at that, it's gorgeous".
"It is nice, but where would we put it?"
"I don't care, I love it. Can we put a bid in? No sorry, we mustn't I know. Let's go".
"How much do you love it?"
"Well..........."
"Ah go for it. You only live once." - another bid.

Tomorrow could be interesting! Last time they put bids in they didn't win any of them. The time before that they won all of them. Exciting - but Calum and Baggy really shouldn't be allowed out, but Cal's right and Baggy needs no persuading, you do only live once.....