Why? Well it's a long story! Are you sitting comfortably? Perhaps a cup of tea or a glass of wine may be in order. No? Okay then. Well it went like this! Both horses were tacked up and ready to go when Calum decided he needed to pop off for a minute. Grotty stayed with the Boys, both of whom were semi-dozing over their stable doors, trying to cope with the muggy heat and the flies in the stables. The yard groom walked up to the horse-walker which is right next to the Boys' stables and put her horse on it. Baggy could hear her reassuring her horse when suddenly there was a very loud (well Clara wants to say "bang" but actually it was more of a) boom! Both horses jumped and shot backwards. Grotty made Baggy jump too. The groom started using a very high-pitched voice to try to calm her horse down. Wessles was on high alert and trying to decide whether to spin around his stable. Joey kind of froze. Wesley decided to stay with Grotty, but did continuous scaredy snorts. Clever Bird assumed that a horse on the walker had double-barrelled the machine or something. Calum reappeared and Baggy explained that both horses were in full flight-mode. "Yes, I heard the boom, it made me jump". Then two other girls ran to the horse-walker and Baggy heard, "What was that noise?" None of us know even now, but it sounded like a large gun.
Grotty and Calum took the Boys out and mounted them without incident. As they set off down the car park, Grotty noticed that someone had left a bunch of stuff outside their car. Wesley decided it was going to eat him. Grotty noticed a large plastic bag behind a roadworks sign. Wesley decided it was going to eat him. Grotty pointed out to Wesley that Joey had gone straight past them. Wesley said that "Joey was an idiot, they were going to eat him". The horse flies appeared! Now they really were going to eat him, Grotty had to agree, even though she had disguised him as a zebra. Wesley took offence at one and threw his nose to his leg. Baggy nearly went through his ears as she doesn't have the strength to keep Grotty securely in the saddle. In the space of twenty yards Wessles performed this manoeuvre another five times. This was not going to be a good ride. Even Joey was getting agitated and kicking his own stomach. But as we hit a breeze it seemed to get a bit better. Calum asked which way Grotty wanted to go: left up a long-grassed track and back to the yard or right through the village on roads. Roads seemed a better option, so they went right.
Grotty noticed a black dog in a garden. Wesley decided that it was going to eat him. Grotty noticed white painted circles and writing on the road around a large pothole. Wessles decided that he was going to get eaten. Grotty noticed white writing in the middle of the road. Wessles avoided it like the plague. Grotty noticed another circle around a pothole. Wesley decided to investigate it more closely. Clever Bird decided to let him, but Freda Fretter made Baggy hold the sissy-strap on the front of her saddle while he put his nose down to it. Just as well she did. Grotty was just thinking, "Oh that's good, he's over this now" as his nose was literally touching the white paint, when he decided that it was going to eat him, and leapt six foot backwards doing dragon-snorts. Meanwhile Joey and Calum were over thirty yards ahead trying to keep the horse flies at bay. Wesley carried on like an unexploded bomb. Grotty noticed loads more white painted writing over a large part of the middle of the road, just in front of the village pub. Two people were sitting talking at a table outside, Joey decided that they were going to eat him and spooked, at the same second as a boy on a mountain bike cut up the left-hand side of Wesley, then shot left into the pub car park, doing a skid halt and sending the gravel flying. Wesley was being eaten! He took off, then saw the white words and stopped dead, Grotty spun round in a temper and shouted, "Seriously?" at the teenager. Wesley did a major tap dance. The people at the pub table looked rather worried. Baggy shouted to Calum to "wait", but Joey was scared of the people and being eaten alive by horse flies. Grotty calmed Wesley down enough to get him past the white writing.
They entered a lane they had named "Horse Fly Alley" last year. It lived up to its name. They decided to trot - very fast. It turned into a hunting trot. Wesley thought about cantering. Grotty just tried to keep Baggy going through her pain. As soon as they pulled up, Wesley dropped his nose back down to his leg. Arghhhhh! Baggy stayed on - just. By the time they got back to the yard, Wesley was dripping sweat, so Grotty decided to shower him. Clearly the shower room was going to trap him. He wouldn't go in. Grotty asked the groom if she could chivvy him from behind. Wesley decided she was going to eat him. The groom decided that she might be best at the front and Grotty could go behind. They swapped. The groom marched Wesley positively forward, Grotty encouraged him from behind. Wesley decided he was going to die. He took off around the stables! The groom retrieved him; got a mint treat out. Wesley agreed that he wouldn't die and went in. He loved his shower, until he decided it was too near his face, then he shot backwards breaking the tie string. Grotty sighed. Wesley relaxed and ate someone else's hay that was draining. Grotty let him! Frankly, Grotty needs to keep her observations and thoughts to herself as she seems to have a telepathic link with Wessles, and breathe Baggy.
Clever Bird has decided that until the horse flies have moved on Grotty can take Wesley into the arena and stay well away from hedges! No more hacking for a while, it is way too stressful for everyone. Schooling it will be then.........
you have a horse shower room??????
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