Baggy has abandonment issues.

Baggy is with Calum and Minty Mutt in Lincoln for the night and tomorrow, visiting friends. Clever Bird has tried her phone and two laptops to produce her blog and finally figured out a way of doing it. (Laptops really don't like people other than their owners using them, do they?) Creative Clara wasn't going to bother, as Baggy is rather tired (and now on the wine), but having seen that more people have read yesterday's blog, than any previous one, Clever Bird has insisted that Clara writes something, so that bloggees know that she is fine. Yesterday was tough, the menopause is definitely not pleasant, but thanks to friends' helpful comments on Facebook about Baggy's blog yesterday, Clever Bird has acknowledged that a lot of Baggy's issues are likely to be as much about her grief over her Dad and Stepmother's deaths as it is the menopause - Hormonal Hannah is just compounding the situation. Baggy has abandonment issues (as Calum discovered to his cost when Baggy called off their wedding the first time they planned it - another story for another day)! These issues clearly are still not resolved and she is finally recognising that particularly her Dad's death, has affected her badly and Baggy has not dealt with it all. (Thank goodness that Calum is such a good bloke, or Baggy would be in serious trouble again).

In previous bereavement counselling when Baggy's real Mum died unexpectedly, Baggy was told that she had an attachment disorder - long story, but bloggees might see why from previous blogs.  She basically has abandonment issues and unfortunately was abandoned (big time) by her previous partner (probably inevitably) shortly after her Mum's death and this particular counselling!! Oh the irony! So, Clever Bird has finally (with the help of friends' and Calum's comments) realised that perhaps her Dad's unexpected death and her Stepmother's recent death, have raised all of these unresolved issues once again. BIG TIME.

So now, on Monday when Baggy goes to see the Doctor about her menopause symptoms, she is  going to be sure to talk about how she is feeling about her Dad and Mum's deaths, because she has a sneaky feeling that Baggy's feelings about this might actually be a much bigger factor, than Hormonal Hannah is, on Baggy's mental state at present (and that isn't great, truthfully). Now, please do not worry bloggees, because Baggy is a very strong old bird, and she will get through this, she always does, but she does recognise that she is rather unravelling at the moment, so it's very good to be away for a day.........