Baggy is starting an entirely new "road to mental recovery" from today.

Today was the first day of Baggy's Stress Management course. She had to be in Stowmarket for 1.45pm. It's only about thirty minutes away. Freda Fretter was getting her in such a state that she decided to leave at noon. Silly! Yes bloggees it was, but Freda was convinced that Hormonal Hannah would be the most "normal" person there and wasting a space that someone more deserving could have had. She also (as always) worried that she would be late as she didn't really know where she was going. She worried that she wouldn't be able to get a seat near to the exit. She worried that she would stand out like a beacon in her hippy clothes. She worried. LOTS. Clever Bird mentioned quietly to Baggy that this was why the course had been recommended for her; Hannah snapped back at her. Baggy yacked on the phone to Calum for most of the journey, trying to stay calm. She got there an hour early and found the hotel, so headed off into town for a cappuccino - and a cheese scone with butter for comfort. By the time she'd found a café and eaten the scone, she panicked that she was now going to be late, as she had to be there in twenty-five minutes. She shot to the loo, left most of her coffee, virtually ran back up the High Street to her car, negotiated the road works, and was still twenty minutes early!

She shot to the loo - again. Then started shaking like a leaf. By the time she went into the lecture room "her" safe seat had already been taken. Well done Clever Bird for not putting your bag on it - stupid woman. The course started. Clever Bird listened and attempted to get Baggy to concentrate. That was difficult with Baggy in serious pain from her neck and back and jiggling about like some demented jumping bean. The lady explained about stress and its various causes and symptoms - anxiety, depression, panic, constant worry, pain, etc. Hmmmmm! Baggy jiggled more and tried to get comfy. She started to get a headache. Hormonal Hannah gave her a hot flush. Her heart started racing. Then in big bold letters on the screen it said, "Face Your Fears". The absolute worst thing to use is avoidance tactics. Clever Bird realised a number of things at once: she has been anxious and regularly depressed since she was a small child; she has used avoidance tactics to get herself through things since she was a small child; these issues have been getting progressively worse since she was a small child; since her Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst surgery and her step-mum dying, she has got very bad very quickly! The body's "flight" reactions when feeling "threatened" increase adrenalin which ups the physical symptoms that cause anxiety and reduces the endorphins, making the person feel more down. At this point Hannah was causing Baggy to panic as she recognised that she had virtually every single issue that they were describing, along with all the physical symptoms, of pretty much every manifestation of stress.

At this point a slide went up of a jockey being thrown from a horse. Clever Bird heard the lady say that "Like when you fall off a horse you must get straight back on, you should..........." Baggy heard no more. Hormonal Hannah had started Baggy crying and she couldn't stop. Fortunately she had washed her hair and it was still down, so she hid under it. Clever Bird recognised that that could not have been a worse image for Baggy if it had tried. One of Baggy's closest friends had pointed out to her a few weeks ago that Baggy had never dealt with Grotty Groom's serious fall from Wesley all those years ago, hence Baggy's "flight" mode kicking in instantly when Wesley's does. Anyway, for whatever reason, Baggy had a mini-meltdown and struggled to keep focussed. It was tough for Freda to make Baggy admit to herself that not only does she currently have some fairly obvious mental health issues that need dealing with, but that looking around the room at the rest of the people and how they appeared to be reacting (or rather not really reacting), she was looking like the most un-"normal" one in there. She couldn't get out of the room fast enough at the half-way break. Only two other people left their chairs to go for a fag. Baggy paced the car park on the phone in tears to Calum. She had to drag Hannah and Freda back in there as they wanted to do a runner, but Clever Bird pointed out that she was in the right place and this was the beginning of her next stage on her road to recovery...........