"Get over it". "Move on". "Don't live in the past". "Don't let bad things in your past affect your future". "Let it go". Yep, because it's that easy bloggees. Clever Bird is sure people mean well when they share these things on FaceBook or actually say similar things to Baggy, but seriously, do they think that Baggy (or anyone in a similar situation) wants to feel this bad? If it were that simple, trust Creative Clara when she says that Baggy would happily do all of the above, but she cannot, because she does not know how to. No one wants to wake up in such a dark place that they don't want to get out of bed. No one wants to be in a great mood one moment and in tears for no apparent reason the next. No one wants to feel worthless, or lost, or overwhelmed, or scared, anxious, or sick with worry over things that they have no control over, so obviously they'd "move on" if they could. Clever Bird even recognises the cause of her issues, but she had never actually truly sat down and confronted that cause face-to-face. Well, until she started to, today at counselling that is. Today, having spent the first thirty minutes, once again, talking about anything she could think of, rather than the fact that her Mama left her when she was eight years old, her counsellor finally took charge. She "made" Baggy confront that situation. Baggy couldn't actually speak. She tried, but she unravelled. Then she went from tearful, to slightly hysterical full-on sobbing. Then she got so spaced out that she couldn't actually think of anything to say. Which turned into what Creative Clara can only describe as an "out-of-body" experience. It got very weird. The poor counsellor (who is after all still a student), looked a little concerned as Baggy attempted to explain this feeling. But Baggy must have sounded nuts, as Psychic Ploppo tried to explain the number of times that Baggy has astral travelled in the past, without realising that that is what she was doing. The more she explained, the weirder the out-of-body experience became. But of course the session was over! Ploppo tried to get Baggy to stand to leave but her legs had gone totally to jelly. Clever Bird attempted to explain that this is what happens every time that Baggy tries to "remember" how she felt when her Mama left her and her sister. Her brain literally shuts down and she can't think - of anything at all. Clever Bird knows that this is some kind of safety mechanism that the brain uses, but she can't help wondering what exactly Baggy's brain is preventing her from reliving, and if it's that bad, maybe she shouldn't be trying to confront it. Ah well, she now has a week to try and regroup the gang before her next counselling session.
So, with the advice from the Stress Management course that "exercise helps with depression" at the forefront of her still spaced-out brain, Furry Mama made Baggy take Minty Mutt on a long walk.
A very long walk as it turned out. Minty Mutt got rather warm and insisted on a paddle at Ager Fen.
But Clever Bird had Baggy and Furry Mama prepared for once and Furry Mama had water for the mutt as well as a banana for Baggy, which they had en route while admiring the view.
When they got home, Clever Bird realised that they had been out for over an hour-and-a-half. The mutt was exhausted and very happy to be hosed down in his paddling pool. But Clever Bird decided that the "high" that Baggy was feeling from the exercise was already wearing off, so she persuaded Baggy to take Grotty to the yard to see the Boys. They were very pleased to see her - especially as she went to get them some hay. They'd just come off the horse-walker, so were warm and hungry. Once again Baggy relaxed totally as soon as she was with them. Even though it was silly warm and humid, Grotty decided to ride. She was encouraged by two friends, as Freda Fretter was trying to persuade her that it was too hot. But Clever Bird knows (as does her friend Sarah), that Grotty loses her nerve riding very easily and therefore not riding, would be a bad idea. She took an age to tack up (as usual), but once on she was pleased that she'd made the effort. Wesley was a poppet as usual. He went beautifully and Grotty even had a canter. She wasn't in there for terribly long - maybe twenty-five minutes at most - but Baggy had a big grin on her face by the time Grotty had finished. Horse-therapy is definitely the way forward for Baggy.............
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