Baggy was home again by 9.00am and Furry Mama decided to take Minty Mutt out before it got warm. He decided that it was high time that they did the Dormouse sanctuary walk - quite a long one, through Ager Fen. It's been an absolutely stunning day in little old Suffolk, Baggy enjoyed the walk in her newly spaced-out way. Everything seemed to be in sharper focus somehow and Creative Clara ended up walking along singing to herself.
Minty Mutt seemed to be doing a bit of singing of his own. He's always happy if he can paddle. By the time they got home Clever Bird realised that they had been walking for over an hour-and-a-half! Perhaps not the best plan when Grotty Groom had decided to do the Boys today and had a riding lesson as well!
By the time she'd mucked out and brought the Boys in, she needed tea. It was HOT! The weather that is, not the tea - well both actually, but you get the gist. When her trainer turned up, Grotty was raring to go (in a melty kind of way), even Wesley seemed keen. Now Vicky-May knows Baggy well and in her other job, is a medical sales rep. so she knows all about anti-depressants. She noticed the difference in Baggy as soon as Grotty finished tacking Wesley up. Usually, Baggy is a nervous gibbering wreck before a lesson! Today she sauntered into the manege and hopped on.
"On a scale of one to ten, how nervous are you usually before a lesson?" "Oooooo, an eight or nine", said Grotty. "And today?" "Oh, a two or one!" "Yes and it shows!" said Vicki-May. Wesley agreed, he was as laid back as Grotty as they wandered around the arena to warm up. He didn't seem too fussed about going into a trot, so needed a little encouragement. Then a couple of horses were brought in, past the manege and he got a little interested. Another horse went out on a hack. A man turned up just above the manege. A horse was taken past to the horse-walker. A trailer turned up with a horse on it. And so it went on, with Wesley getting a little livelier with each thing. Baggy remained chilled.
Vicki-May put some poles out; Wesley got excited. And strong. A new horse joined them in the manege to be lunged. Wesley liked the look of her. And got stronger. Baggy stayed chilled. Grotty now really had to ride Wesley who was getting very forward-going and distracted by every little thing. Apart from the fact that Baggy was by now unable to breathe properly, she was grinning her little head off. He might have been keen, but Wesley went beautifully. Grotty was very proud of him.
On the phone on the way home, Clever Bird asked Calum whether he'd seen a difference in Baggy since she's been on the happy pills. He said that he had. "Even though you still get anxious about things, you're nowhere near as nervous about everything as you were before". That was an eye-opener. Clever Bird was well aware that Baggy got anxious and worried about things and she knew Grotty got nervous about riding, what she hadn't realised was that she was nervous (or seemed it to others) about almost everything. But thinking about it, that constant feeling of worry/threat/anxiousness/fear/nervousness, that Baggy has lived with for a very long time now, seems to have pootled off somewhere. Perhaps refusing the anti-depressants whenever they've been offered in the past, because Baggy didn't believe she was depressed (a word bandied about a little too much in Clever Bird's opinion), was a big mistake. Baggy cannot remember the last time that she felt this "normal". In fact she's not sure that she's ever felt this normal before! Long may it last.........
No comments:
Post a Comment