Struggling.

Counselling yesterday was once again difficult, but welcome. Because the black cloud is back, Baggy was in tears the moment the counsellor asked how she was, bearing in mind that at the time she was still in the corridor on the way to the counselling room. Not a great start. But again, much progress was made and by the end Baggy felt a little better. Just the usual spaced-out feeling, but slightly less blackness in the cloud - more of a dirty grey. Clever Bird once again took Baggy for a cappuccino before letting her drive home. Once there The Domestic Goddess leapt into action doing a major tidy up around her latest packed crates. It occurred to Clever Bird, that in theory, now the roof on the other house is not going to be removed any time soon, they could in fact move in sooner rather than later, if they so choose. Either way Clever Bird is determined not to let Hormonal Hannah knock Baggy's plans back off track. For once she is planning! To change those plans because Hannah is being a bit dominant again, would be a backward step that Clever Bird is not going to let happen.

The counsellor also reassured Baggy that the anti-depressants are probably still not working 100% as she's only been on them for such a short time. Being let down, once again, this time just by the builder, was enough to cause a mini-meltdown. But the good news is it was a lot less of a meltdown than it would have been without the happy pills. Baggy is back to see the doctor about them on Monday, so Clever Bird will be interested to hear what she has to say.

This morning was Fat Club. In spite of Baggy comfort-eating this week (yes lots of the ubiquitous pancakes bloggees), she lost weight. Mind you Clever Bird did make Baggy dress in her lightest wool dress, rather than jeans! She even stopped her from putting a petticoat on under it (even though it's distinctly transparent), but every little bit helps and Hannah could not have handled the well-intentioned encouragement to "try harder" to reach her goal-weight. Baggy has been within four pounds (or thereabouts) of her goal for months now, she's also been depressed for months now and whatever anyone else thinks, the two are definitely connected. As is the fact that once again, Baggy is not doing her physiotherapy. It's all about moving forward and Baggy is almost there with the counselling. Clever Bird is fairly sure that once she can move on with that properly, she'll also be able to move on with everything else. At least that's what she is hoping. But the truth with her weight is that if she had actually reached her goal previously, she would currently be just one pound over her allowed three pounds either side! Ah well...........