Day 131 - Baggy is seriously struggling.

Sorry about the miniscule blog yesterday loyal bloggees. Baggy feels that Creative Clara left you a little short-changed. Baggy did however run out of day. Largely in fact due to Creative Clara, whose novel is running away with her. She can't quite keep up with it. But the truth is that there's more to it than that. In the same way that Clara gets totally lost in a good book because she wants to know what is going to happen next, she is getting "lost" in her novel. This is good and bad as previously discussed. But at the moment, Clever Bird realises that Baggy is using Clara's novel to distract Hormonal Hannah and Freda Fretter. And interestingly Clever Bird realised yesterday, even more so to distract Psychic Ploppo. Yes, that is too obtuse.

To explain. Baggy's stress levels are currently through the roof. They shouldn't be. But they are. Why? Well, lots of reasons. Firstly, she has realised that her step-mother's death hit her harder than she was expecting. Especially as it has finally allowed her to grieve for her Dad. Mother's Day threw her quite a lot! There are also some big (exciting, but quite scary decisions) that she has had to take over her inheritance. Freda is wondering whether she has done the right thing, even though Clever Bird and Calum are quite sure that she has. They are the exact kind of decisions that Baggy would instantly have called her old Dad about to chat through. Obviously she cannot do that.

 

Secondly, Freda has been worrying about the replacement mattress coming today. It was such a drama last time trying to get it through the tiny seventeenth-century door at the bottom of the stairs. This time they had to take the other one away too. Well she was right to worry a bit! There are now three bits of wood that Calum will have to put back up that fell off as they forced it through the gap! Plus exposed electric wires that Freda thought was joining the wood! She had visions of electrocuted men. The new mattress is much bigger or rather deeper!! But they did it. Then they had to negotiate two mattresses in the tiny tiny bedroom. They managed that. Just. Then they had to avoid electrocution on the way down with the other one. Everyone is alive. The mattress is replaced. The chaps were great. In fact they gave Baggy three lots of lavender spray to help her sleep. Very helpful if it works as last night, due to worrying, Hormonal Hannah kept Baggy awake from 1.30 to 4.45am! A record!

Tomorrow the new sofa and chair arrive. Well, let's hope they do anyway! After the previous arguments about delivery dates, that remains to be seen. So yes, that is another worry. Plus of course Baggy will have to attempt to help Calum to get the old sofa and chair out of the house tomorrow and get them to the dump. Hence the third worry. Baggy is really not one hundred percent strong yet.

Fourth. Our landline as you know is a disaster. No line for about six weeks, bar one day. A neighbour had our number for two weeks. Hence BT saying it was fixed! Yeah funny. Not! Who's paying for those calls? Complaining to people who are reading a script in India is completely pointless. And stressful. Baggy has literally just had a call from an engineer who is on his way and admits we got missed in the great reconnect. Hopefully he will be able to fix it. Once he has Clever Bird is cancelling the landline and praying Baggy's mobile has a signal a bit more often than currently.

Fifthly and probably, no definitely the biggest stress of the lot, Grotty Groom is not seeing her horses. She will only go with Calum in tow to protect her. Clever Bird has realised in the last few days that she means that literally. There is a person at the yard who (whether you believe these things or not) Baggy knows to be an energy vampire. One of Baggy's closest friends, Tracey, came into Baggy's life to protect Psychic Ploppo from one such person many years ago. That's another story for another day. Baggy had never heard of such things before that day of meeting her friend. However since then she has met another one (who actually became a good friend) until somebody else pointed out that Baggy was ill shortly after every visit from this woman. So she extricated herself from that friendship. This is way, way worse. In fact it has got so bad, that just thinking about the person has had Baggy in tears four times in the last two days. When she sets off for the yard she is having the beginnings of a panic attack. She knows from experience that if she is not careful, this could develop into a full panic attack. They are terrifying. Even my big strong hairy biker husband is now avoiding the person because he too is feeling it, which means that he cannot protect Baggy from it. He also no longer wants to be there so had not ridden Joey for months until the other weekend. Well, Grotty is seriously missing her horses but she cannot be there if the person is there. It is making Baggy slightly hysterical. Within seconds of being in their presence, Psychic Ploppo feels tearful and blindingly angry at the same time. Bearing in mind that Baggy has been totally ignored by the person for weeks of seeing them now, it is their mere presence that is the problem. She literally cannot cope with being anywhere near them. Hence major, major stress! Trying to work out what to do about it is keeping Baggy constantly worried. Not good.

Yes bloggees, Clever Bird realises that this makes Baggy sound like some kind of weird person. She is in fact not at all sure about the whole energy vamping thing herself. However, whether you now once again think Baggy is nuts, or not, the plain facts are that it is having a physical affect on her health. So, Clever Bird is just accepting that Psychic Ploppo is right and needs protecting.

So one way and another Baggy has been comfort eating. So yep Fat Club today was a disaster. Weight on, not off. Hence why Baggy is struggling on a number of fronts at the moment. But she is a strong bird, so fear not bloggees, she will figure all of this out. Somehow. In the meantime Creative Clara is fairly convinced that Psychic Ploppo is helping her to write the novel that is writing itself, so maybe some good has come out of an unbearable situation...........